The Thieves of Waterdeep

DWARF TOSSING...SORRY, DWARF BASHING!

Ok so before the insidious Thraim can post his litany of lies and propaganda I Eddard will tell you what really happened. Dividing up plunder was the name of the game although to be honest it was not so much plunder as a bunch of junk left over from a Junk shop explosion. The glorious Eddard claimed some very well made Armour, a lovely shade of Dark grey with silver inlay. Very nice and might I say that it goes very well with my boots and hat. Also managed to score a powerful magic ring that protects its wearer from harm. Oh and some potions, but who really cares about them. Next the insufferably boring chanting bores that I have aligned myself with sat around for what seemed days discussing spells and other snore worthy rubbish. Next we retrieved some more useless magical garbage, including a Wand of Frost and a bag that spits out Animals for some reason. All terribly interesting to the scribblers and grovelers and I even diced for a couple of items for amusements sake but as per usual came away with nothing. I think my dice is cursed.
Finally after what seemed like weeks of doing nothing we decided to celebrate our success by going to a pub to watch a Troll beat on helpless people. Upon arrival was mildly surprised to find that it was actually a real Troll. Several suggestions that I get in the ring with the monstrosity were met with cold stares and assurances that Eddard Montoyeur does not “fist fight”. Such activities are hideously common and beyond contempt. Only someone of low standing, limited wit and no class whatsoever would ever partake in such a thing. Obviously then we volunteered Thraim. Our own tame(ish) sub human. Having seen the brutish little creature in action I will admit to a certain grudging admiration to the way he beats those weaker than him to death. I therefore placed a small wager of 50gp on the outcome of this pugilistic contest. Thraim, after his traditional opening kidney punch, seemed to be holding his own with the troll (which oddly seemed to have shrunken down to dwarf size) After this it gets a bit fuzzy I have vague recollections of drawing Widowmaker and stabbing a couple of dwarves but cannot remember why exactly. Probably they looked at me funny. Probably should lay off the Alcohol as I keep having these memory blackouts. I am sure that Thraim will fill in the details somewhat during his ramblings.

Notes: from Cyric
With much mirth the bets were taken Troll Vs Kiddy Puncher, only the insidious Kerreth bet on the Troll. After 5 minutes into the first round 5 dwarves in the bar revealed themselves as bandits and cried “Give us all your MONEY”. This prompted DOOM to act…. Fast Eddard murdered two Dwarves, Cyric failed to do anything, Sly Turner assulted (colour spray) 2 Dwarves and 6 patrons and made all profits from the group (as the Troll stomped out of the arena) vanish, Kerreth well no one saw her, Thraim just carried on stomping and punching and Reginald Darkmoon got stronger, and lots of him appeared but did nothing really.

Three things of note happened:
First much mirth occurred when another group of sub-humans burst in claiming to be the first.
Second, the leader dwarf ran but failed to explode his escape grenade hence Reginald Darkmoon and Fast Eddard chased him down and was killed by Fast Eddard.
Third, another strange figure emerged, blew his horn (which kept making some patrons, Kerreth and Cyric jump around like idiots). He then tried to rob the place, failed, as at this point the evil Sly Turner made everyone’s MONEY vanish.

Cyric attempted to wrestle the puny human with the horn, forgetting to hold on and allowing him to blow his horn again, causing Kerreth and Cyric to jump around uncontrollably. Thraim in his enlarged persona, managed to walk up and punch out the puny human with a single blow. The puny human slumped unconscious behind the bar after the first “tap” in a combination.

All the chaos then slowed as two dwarves and the horn guy was captured and tied up…. next week these fellows could have a really nasty time :-).

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PaulHyman

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